Relationships aren’t easy.
To live and share everything with another person can test your every nerve.
Heck at times I feel like I can’t even live with myself.
Relationships can push your boundaries and may make you question WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?
But how do you know if its worth fighting for, or when to walk away?
When do you know enough is enough, and your not giving up to early?
You can always keep questioning what if, but is that really going to get you anywhere.
When times get hard just back away and take a breather to analyze what the fuck is going on but make sure to return to the situation if and when safe.
Everyday is not going to be wonderful.. There are going to be days where you just want to give up and throw in the towel.. But should you really? Throwing in the towel is not the best solution, are you really going to do that every time a difficult situation comes up? If you do keep giving up where are you going to get in life? Anywhere?
It’s been almost two years since I got married and there are days I ask myself what the hell am I doing and if I’m doing the right thing. It’s not that I do not love him or care about him, but I know deep down I have unsolved issues from my past that I never fixed and just ignored and walked away. And at times those problems, insecurities, and issues come back up and get in the way of me living the best life I can for myself and family.
I feel horrible because I am dragging some extra baggage and problems around simply because I just ignored them before and never tried solving or coming to a conclusion before.
I am realizing this as I just started seeing my therapist again recently. I have these times where I feel like I am doing great and well fuck why waste my money and time to go talk to a stranger, when in reality it’s the best thing I can do for myself. <– I hate to admit it but I definitely need to continue to go no matter how I feel. I am simply not as strong as i want to be and cannot depend on myself to make the right decisions and to push myself to analyze and think before I speak and take action. I need assistance and guidance to be a better person, and well fuck I am finally okay to admit it now that I cannot do this alone.
I AM GLAD I GOT MY HUSBAND BY MY SIDE AS WELL AS MY DAUGHTER, FATHER, and NONO.
I may not be pleasant at times and push them away or not answer them but they continue to show me unconditional love that I am greatly appreciated for that.
It’s hard to find someone to trust and turn to at times, and well frankly there are times I feel like I can’t turn to anyone but i know when i have the strength too they will be there.